


Consequences

by DearCat



Series: Tumblr Archive [7]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst, Communication Failure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Tsuna is done, Xanxus is bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-01-31 06:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21441379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearCat/pseuds/DearCat
Summary: He should be above this, his skin should be thicker. And it is, most of the time. It's just that a part of him looks at Xanxus and his Varia and wants them to acknowledge him.
Relationships: Chrome Dokuro & Rokudou Mukuro & Sawada Tsunayoshi, Chrome Dokuro & Sawada Tsunayoshi, Rokudou Mukuro & Sawada Tsunayoshi, Sawada Tsunayoshi & Varia
Series: Tumblr Archive [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533116
Comments: 19
Kudos: 552





	Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!

“We’re going beyond the realm of my expertise here,” Tsuna let them know with a sheepish smile.

He should have seen the answer coming, of course he should have. He had practically laid it out for them on a silver platter. The last time the Varia had _really_ seen him, he was still a teenager. He had been unsure on his own skin, while they had all been already well-established assassins. They can't seem to see Tsuna as anything else, even now. He hadn’t, though.

Seen the answer coming, that is. 

“You have a realm of expertise, trash?” The words were low and mocking and so very Xanxus that it drove the fact home. He should have seen this coming, and yet he never does. It leaves him feeling like a fool even as the sharp stab of pain makes itself at home in his chest.

How many times, he wonders, does he need to prove himself to these people? This so-called family that was content with leaving him behind in the name of his own good without so much as a glance before they needed him. It rankles, both because it hurts and because he can’t seem to stop himself from allowing it to. He should be above this, his skin should be thicker. And it is, most of the time. It's just that a part of him looks at Xanxus and his Varia and _wants _them to acknowledge him.

Never going to happen, it seems. 

Vongola Decimo, the most powerful man in the mafia. What a joke. 

But Tsuna is Reborn’s student and that’s one thing they will never take away from him and so he shrugs with careful nonchalance and smiles the same damn smile he gives to every stranger to cross his way. “I’ll follow your lead, then, cousin.” And if the words are lazed with frustration, none of them seems to notice.

None of them, except Fran. Fran who throws him a look of surprised understanding but says not a word. The illusionist is so good with outraging everybody with words that people always ignore what he keeps silent. And he keeps a great deal quiet. 

Sometimes Tsuna wishes he had been a mist and not a sky, he would have been more comfortable in the shadows.

“VOI! Just don’t get in our way!” Squalo demands, sword already waving around in the air. 

Tsuna’s only acknowledgement of that is an inclination of the head but it seems to be more than enough. The Varia follow, Squalo and Lussuria flanking Xanxus at each side. Tsuna can’t help the deep ache of loneliness at the thought of Gokudera and Takeshi. He wants them here. But these missions happen this way for a reason and he will suck it up. 

Fran falls into step beside Tsuna, though. Silent but strangely tentative and Tsuna can’t help but remember the connection within this mist and his. Both of his. How he misses them. Though he knows, as he knows that water is wet and the sun comes up every morning, that they will welcome him home today. They’ll hide him away in their illusions, give him a chance to regroup.

Nobody expects it of Mukuro but he’s so sweet, so protective when given half the chance. That’s the family Tsuna build for himself, not Vongola. And some days Tsuna wishes he was selfish enough to throw Vongola to the side and keep only that, his mismatched family of outcasts that he can trust to love him, failures and all. 

He’s not, though. And so Tsuna remains shackled. But he makes a promise to himself as he silently watches the Varia work around him, he’s done bending over backwards trying to prove himself to these people. There’s no way he can keep doing it without breaking and so he won’t.

So when the mission is done and over with and they’re back in Namimori, for the first time since these missions have started coming his way, he doesn’t invite them in. This is the house Tsuna built so his entire family could fit in. His house, with the empty guest’s rooms but the full living room, and it is enough.

Tsuna is done grasping, trying so hard to reach.

They watch him go in silence and Tsuna doesn’t turn back. He knows it’s because he’s breaking routine. They are used to Tsuna inviting them in, asking them if they would like to stay over for dinner only to be told that they obviously have something or other to do. The Varia don't have time to play house. 

But Tsuna almost feels relieved when he closes the door behind him, closing his eyes as Chrome’s hands frame his face and Mukuro’s mist envelops them both.

* * *

There was something final, Xanxus thinks to himself, about that evening months ago. That day when the baby-trash had closed the door behind himself, there was something final about that. And it’s been driving Xanxus up the fucking wall because every mission since that one, talking to the baby-boss has been like talking to a wall.

An exercise in futility.

He thinks he can understand now Iemitsu’s frustration, Timoteo’s, after a dinner with the Vongola Heir. It’s impossible to pry anything out of the kid’s lips when he doesn’t want you to. And normally it wouldn’t bother Xanxus, it’s a good quality for a boss to have, but then again, it has never been turned against him.

Not by the baby-boss, at least. 

Something is wrong, Xanxus knows this, and he can’t _fix it. _How could he? When Tsunayoshi refuses to tell him what it is, when every time Xanxus asks he’s faced with deflections and polite smiles? It’s driving him up the fucking wall. 

But they can’t get anything out of the baby-boss and the boy’s guardians have closed ranks. Even Squalo has found it impossible to get the baby-swordsman to talk. And damn it all, but Xanxus has never been good with words. He’s a man of action and his people understand that.

Words are wind and all that.

Still, there’s something wrong. A distance between the baby-boss and them that hadn’t been there before. And it surprisingly hurts but Xanxus doesn’t know how to fix it, doesn’t know what went wrong, doesn’t know what caused it. And that burns. A part of him wants to _shake_ the little brat by the collar of his shirt and demand answers.

Not that he does, of course. Whatever connection between them feels so fragile now that Xanxus feels it might just break if he took it too far. It leaves him at a loss, he’s better at talking with his hands than with his mouth. So Xanxus watches Tsunayoshi leave them with a nod, closing the door behind him like he’s been doing it ever since.

Dinner is never offered, anymore.

“There’s just so many times you can put somebody down before they give up on you.” Fran’s voice is insolent as ever but the comment resonates like a gunshot between them.

It makes Xanxus feel uncomfortable, unsure of his standing in a way he hasn’t felt in years so he covers it in anger, scoffs and walks away.

Later, though, much later and in the comfort of his office, Xanxus takes a look at the surveillance on their missions before everything went to shit and feels increasingly awkward. Because now he can see Sawada’s attempts to please them and the hurt and bitterness that start creeping up on his expression as time goes by.

For a second, Xanxus can’t help but think of his brothers. Is this what happened with them? Was it really that they disliked him or was it that they didn’t know how to show him otherwise? 

He dismisses it soon after, there’s no use in crying over spilt milk. His brothers are dead, their relationship unfixable. The baby-boss is still alive and breathing and will continue to be so as long as Xanxus has a say in it. Seeing this means that now Xanxus knows what happened and why. He still doesn’t know how to fix it but it’s a start.

To be quite honest, Xanxus has never been one for tenderness, the comfort he can offer is either silent or jaded. His guardians have never needed anything else. But there’s nothing in this world that matters to him more than family and for family, he will try. 

So Xanxus walks into his personal armoury, picks up a gun he deems good enough and then sneaks into Tsunayoshi’s office. The baby-boss is pretty much swamped under the paperwork but he turns that damnable business smile Xanxus’ way as soon as he catches sight of the older man. 

“Ah, Xanxus. How can I help you?” 

Xanxus ignores him, marches around the desk and straight to the baby-boss and pushes him back down from where the younger man is starting to rise from his seat. “Brat,” he starts and cuts off because he doesn’t know what to say. So he frames Tsunayoshi’s face with his hands and drops to his knees instead.

They stare at each other in silence. Tsunayoshi mostly in surprise and Xanxus growing uncomfortable but still determined because he _knows_ what he’s trying to convey he just doesn’t know how to say it and it leaves him frustrated. And then the brat gets over the shock, tries to pull back and something inside of Xanxus simply snaps.

Without even realizing what he’s doing, Xanxus pulls the baby-boss in for something that could either be a hug or a strangle-hold. Tsunayoshi gasps a little, probably for the suddenness of the entire thing, and then there are hands on Xanxus’ belly, trying to push him away.

Snorting, Xanxus refuses to budge. He’s still scrambling, though, mind going into overdrive trying to find a way to just explain that he’s sorry, that he hadn’t realized and hadn’t meant it that way either but Xanxus has never been good at this so he imitates instead. 

Mind going back to the time when it was only his mother and him, back in the slums when things had been so much harder and yet easier to understand, Xanxus remembers his mother’s words after a fight and sighs. Trying his hardest to hide just how uncomfortable he is, he forces himself to meet Tsunayoshi’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Judging by the widening of the baby-boss’ eyes, the brat hadn’t been expecting that. But the hands on Xanxus’ belly stop pushing him away in favour of pulling him in instead and Xanxus decides to take that as his apology being accepted. He lets the brat cling, there’s no damage in it, it just leaves Xanxus feeling a little self-conscious. 

When it’s finally stretched long enough that Xanxus can’t really take it anymore, he pulls back, hand going to his waist to show the baby-brat the gun he brought with him. Tsunayoshi reaches for it, fingers cataloguing each part of it and Xanxus allows it, carefully ignoring the signs that the baby-boss knows what he’s doing. “I’m teaching you to shoot.”

“Oh,” the brat’s brown eyes sneak a look at him before going back to the gun, “Reborn…”

But Xanxus doesn’t let him finish, he pulls the brat up and out of his chair and pushes him towards the door. “Come on, baby-boss.”

This time, when the door closes both of them are on the same side of it. It feels like a beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> My [Tumblr](https://dearcat1.tumblr.com).


End file.
